Jump in Marty Mcfly's Delorean and travel back to 1980. The Berlin Wall is still up and David Lee Roth keeps rocking the vocals for Van Halen. Wait what is that it's a bird, it's a plane, it's Stallone and Dolph Lundgren and it's not Rocky X? That's right ladies and gentlemen let's get ready rumble! The time for the 1980s action hero is now!!!
In an era where Jason Bourne and Vin Diesel have tried to steal there thunder "The Expendables" retakes the championship belt. Enter Stallone, Staham, Li, Lundgren, Couture, Willis, Schwazanegger, Rourke, Crews, Austin, and especially the one and only Eric Roberts. Eric Roberts must have gotten the slot because of Mickey Rourke's acceptance speech at the 2009 Independent Spirit Awards in which he won the award for "The Wrestler" and then proceeded for 10 minutes straight to ask any director in the audience to hire Eric Roberts. Stallone must have been watching or in the audience because Eric is the perfect villain in the Expendables. He is a throw back to the type of character played by Jack Palance in "Tango and Cash" a man whom wears the same suit the entire movie and holds a woman hostage with a gun to her head and asks Stallone to put his gun down!
Oh "The Expendables" is a wild ride. From the opening in taking down Somalian pirates it became apparent to me that I haven't seen laser scopes since Jean Claude Van Damme and Seagal made them famous in the 80's. Hyper color hasn't been used since the first "Predator". And a body hasn't exploded into that many pieces since the "Dawn of the Dead" by George A. Romero. The simple pleasures of life as a moviegoer.
I do not want to give away any details about "The Expendables" because with Stallone in the director chair he delivers the classic goods. An evil South American dictator, Mickey Rourke on a chopper with a blonde stripper, Dolph Lundgren with a knife the size of a surfboard, and hundreds of steel barrels of gasoline filled for 1980s "Terminator" style explosions. What more can a summer movie fan ask for? Stallone duking it out with WWF sensation Stone Cold Steve Austin. And last, but not least a meeting in a church between Willis, Stallone, and the one and only Governator. Where Stallone actually say's to Willis about Schwarzie "don't worry about him he wants to be President!" Rocky meets Rambo and bites off Evan Holyfield's ear like Mike Tyson. Don't Miss This One!!!! (it could change your life and the way CGI has taken away real muscles!!!) (or are the Australian Airport Police still holding on to Sly's steriods from his gym bag???) [too bad Van Damme and Norris thought the Expendables would have been a poor career choice: eat your hearts out fellas, because you missed the boat!!!]
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